TORONTO – As local father Jalen Hart told the worker asking COVID checklist questions at the front entrance of the Little Tot’s Playhouse daycare that his child Marcus did not have a runny nose, onlookers reported seeing a single bead of sweat descend from his brow.
“He seemed fine when she asked if his kid had fever or loss of taste,” said fellow dad Steven Vogel. “But when she asked if he had a stuffy or runny nose there was this long pause. And I could see the sweat form, run all the way down his face and drop off his chin before he finally said ‘No.'”
“Then he just blurted out ‘have a good day son’ and ran away as fast as possible.”
Despite the fact that he was wearing nothing but a light t-shirt, pajama pants and birkenstocks with socks in the cold December weather, the bead of sweat began to form almost immediately when the question was asked, almost as if Hart had been dreading it all night and morning. Witnesses who saw him in his car after drop-off also reported seeing him doing breathing exercises trying to calm down before punching the steering wheel in excitement.
“I know I should have been honest. But I just had a lot going on today and honestly the nose running isn’t that bad,” said Hart as he threw out the numerous tissues that he used to clean boogers right before putting his son’s mask on.
“Runny noses aren’t even on the official COVID symptoms list anymore, so he’ll probably just give everyone colds. Obviously we all need to be safe because COVID is scary. But COVID is way less scary than spending all day with my kid.”
None of the other parents in line reported Hart, likely because they were all busy rehearsing similar lies in their head.