Ottawa, ON — As spring unfolds with unprecedented warmth, Canadians might wonder how they can enjoy nice weather, while also understanding it’s a sign that our climate is hurling toward uninhabit…
Tag: weather
Vancouver considers buying a second snowplow
VANCOUVER — In a shocking turn of events, Vancouver city officials have announced the city may soon be making the landmark purchase of a second snowplow. Residents of the usually mild-weathered …
4 tips for getting your body ready for tick season
MUSKOKA – As the weather gets warmer, it’s natural to feel a little vulnerable about showing extra skin, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Tina Fontina, entomologist and personal trainer, is he…
Dad’s phone apparently only has ability to check stock market and send thumbs up emoji
KITCHENER, ON – Laylah Peel, 27, recently realized after a quick text conversation with her father, Arnold Peel, that his company issued Google Pixel must only have the ability to send the …
Weatherman predicting thunderstorm condemned for encouraging rain
VANCOUVER – In the wake of David Suzuki being condemned for inciting violence after warning that, if politicians don’t do more to combat climate change there could be attacks on oil &…
“Mysterious fog nothing to worry about,” says weatherman who died 20 years ago
DEEPWATER COVE, B.C. – Residents of Deepwater Cove are being reassured by Milo Saunders, a local meteorologist who was consistently voted the most trusted man in town until his untimely dea…
Weather reports now just daily list of records broken in latest heatwave
OAKVILLE, ONTARIO ― Canadian meteorology channel The Weather Network announced today that it will soon be transitioning to a record-based method of reporting daily temperatures. Come September, t…
5 tips for reporting on unprecedented weather without mentioning climate change
Thanks to the climate chaos unleashed by global warming, extreme weather is getting more press now than ever. This can put journalists like you in quite a pickle if you’re writing about these dea…
Shovelling snow found to be number 1 cause of Canadians muttering ‘fuck this fucking shit’ over and over
OTTAWA – A new study indicates that the biggest cause of Canadians repeatedly exclaiming ‘fuck this fucking shit’ is shovelling snow. “Of all the frustrations that plague …
Local father sad there’s only two months left to lecture about the importance of snow tires
Belleville, ON – After realizing that it was already late February, local road safety enthusiast and self described father, Hank Jebbs was heartbroken that there is only another two months …