Trudeau clarifies that Saudi Arabia isn’t an ally, just an acquaintance we sell a fuckton of weapons to - The Beaverton

Trudeau clarifies that Saudi Arabia isn’t an ally, just an acquaintance we sell a fuckton of weapons to

OTTAWA – In the wake of US Intelligence concluding that Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman was personally involved in the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, Prime Minister clarified that he does not consider an ally, just an acquaintance Canada sells a shit load of to.

“Sure we sold them 3 billion dollars worth of military hardware in 2019 alone,” said Trudeau on NBC’s Meet The Press. “But the relationship isn’t that serious.”

“We’re just acquaintances. Or friends. At most we’re Fucking Over Yemen Buddies.”

Canada has refused Saudi Arabia’s numerous requests to finally “put a label on things,” just as it has refused numerous humanitarian organizations to “stop selling and tanks to one of the most evil regimes on the planet.”

“I’m not ready to commit to the whole ally thing right now. I’ve been hurt before. Like when I called an ally and then they went behind my back and locked up two of our citizens for no reason,” said Trudeau.

Trudeau added that he still thinks Saudi Arabia is a very special country, and hopes they will continue paying us enough money that we overlook the brutal murder of a journalist for years to come.

At press time, Saudi Arabia was being comforted by it’s friends, who were telling them they were too good for Canada anyway and should fine some other nominally country willing to betray its values for money. Like Australia. Or maybe Greece.