Social Media Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: Social Media

Village Idiot buys Town Square

YE OLDE PAOLO ALTO – Surprising both maidens and lads, village idiot Elon Musk has purchased the town square and shall now rule it as he sees fit. “I decree that all may now enter the…


How being better than me is bullying

By: Bryler Chadwick I used to have to leave my house to feel bad about myself. But now that all you bullies can attack me with posts of your promotions, life events, and sun-drenched getaways wit…


Local friends get engaged just to spite you

OTTAWA – Your friends Daryl Hoover and Cheyenne Klein, who have spent all quarantine posting pictures of each other on social media, have decided to get engaged as a vengeful move against y…


Racist facebook friend got married

Kitchener, ON – Reports from your facebook account indicate that Mitch, a guy you once met on a camping trip and who has been posting increasingly racist memes for several years now, recent…