OTTAWA – According to an extensive survey conducted over the past year, the average person considers the act of watching new episodes of a television series without their partner, colloquia…
Tag: relationship
Your girlfriend doesn’t want commitment, she wants you to be Rihanna
MISSISSAUGA – After numerous consultations with groups of women congregating in club bathrooms, irrefutable evidence proves that most women are dissatisfied with how un-Rihanna their partne…
Couple calling each other “babe” after forgetting names five years ago
BRANDON, MA – Living together in quiet desperation in fear of being caught, a local couple has resorted to referring to each other as “babe” after both have completely forgotten what their …
Vacation that was 90% eating best two weeks of couple’s relationship
BERMUDA – Reports late last night confirm that the two-week cruise taken by Calgary couple Kyle and Maria Thompson which consisted almost entirely of eating was “the best two weeks of our l…
Interracial couple so pleased you interrupted their dinner to call them beautiful
OTTAWA — Following a pleasant date night at their favourite local restaurant, interracial couple Scott Walters and Tara Miller wanted to say how delighted they are that you interrupted their dinn…
Commitment-phobic boyfriend manages to binge watch all 12 seasons of ‘Bones’
EDMONTON – Chad Sandford stunned his on-again, off-again girlfriend of 5 years, Karen McClinton, when he managed to binge watch all 12 seasons of the TV show Bones. McClinton was initially suspic…
Hillary Clinton maintains composure during first run-in with America at cafe they used to go to together
WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to sources, Hillary Clinton reportedly came off well during a chance encounter with the United States of America in the cafe they used to frequent together. It …
University freshman looking forward to seeing family, dumping Jenny for Thanksgiving
OTTAWA – First year Carleton University business student Michael Fairburn is excited to return to his hometown of Barrie to see his family for Thanksgiving and to break the heart of his hig…
Local couple replaces sex with Netflix
TORONTO – Local couple Mark Lui and Shelby Hollande have begun substituting sex with streaming film and television on Netflix. Said 32-year-old Shelby, “When we first moved in together 5 ye…
Report: Girlfriend still crying
A new report from behind the bathroom door has confirmed that yes, your girlfriend is still crying because of that thing you know you said and no, she won’t be stopping anytime soon. Confidential…