University freshman looking forward to seeing family, dumping Jenny for Thanksgiving - The Beaverton

University freshman looking forward to seeing family, dumping Jenny for Thanksgiving

OTTAWA – First year business student Michael Fairburn is excited to return to his hometown of Barrie to see his family for and to break the heart of his high school sweetheart, Jenny.

“It’s going to be great! There’s going to be pumpkin pie, and turkey, and my grandmother will make her special dressing,” said Fairburn from his dorm room as he sat in sweatpants drinking rye and coke from a plastic red cup. “Oh, and I’m also going to finally end it with Jenny. She’ll be there too and, yeah, she has no idea.”

Fairburn says he’s been tired of residence cafeteria food, and also his due to the long distance from attending different universities.

“Yeah, she ended up going to U of O [the ],” stated Fairburn. “That’s a twenty five minute bus ride. I’m just not ready for that level of commitment. What I am ready for is Aunt Mabel’s potato salad. Hell yeah.”

Fairburn is also looking forward to hanging out with his high school friends, and asking Jenny to return the DVDs he left at her place.