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Tag: relationship
Lonely Woman Invents Shitty Boyfriend
VICTORIA, BC – Tired of her friends’ relationship conversations dominating group outings, local copywriter Ashley Tanner, 25, recently invented a distant and generally disappointing signifi…
45 minutes into brunch, engaged couple still talking about their seating chart
CALGARY – Nearly an hour into their meal at Cassis Bistro, sources were reporting that engaged couple Matt Saracen and Julie Taylor were still sorting out the details of who would sit where…
Son, it’s time I told you about your father’s and my sex life
By Jeanette Francis Listen son, I know that this is the sort of thing that you’re not usually supposed to talk about with your children, but mama’s had a couple of wines and you’re cornered in th…
Yo-Yo trick fails to impress in-laws
CALGARY – A complicated yo-yo trick failed to impress Joel Steadman’s in-laws during Easter dinner this weekend. “I nailed a ‘Reverse Double or Nothing’ and got no reaction from Ellen’s par…
Couple attending different online colleges decide they will try to make it work
GUELPH, ON – Faced with different online colleges and the strain it might place on their relationship, high school sweethearts Jeff Breadle and Stacey Middlenan have decided to try and make…
Heavy petting officially downgraded to first base
PARIS – In a long overdue move, the International Association for Getting It On has officially downgraded heavy petting to first base. The move reclassifies French Kissing as a sacrifice bu…
Local couple still find time to fight after all these years
GUELPH, ON – Despite their busy schedules at a local law firm, Jan Dirtz and Dan Dirtz, married 16 years, still make time to fight with each other whenever they can. “To keep the spark in o…
