LONDON – British Parliament has passed a law that will resume the practice of sending its criminals, debtors, society’s rejects, and Harry to the colonies by penal shipment or banishment. T…
Tag: Meghan Markle
New charity helps royal immigrants integrate into Canada’s high society
TORONTO – In response to the Prince and Princess of Sussex relocation of Canada, a new charity has been established to help the pair as well as other royals better integrate into Canada’s u…
Unskilled foreigners seek move to Canada
OTTAWA – A British and American couple, both unemployed, are seeking to emigrate to Canada despite having no real skills to offer the country, early reports indicate. British and American m…
Toronto’s expensive housing market forces Harry and Meghan to consider living in Barrie
BARRIE, ON – Astronomically high housing prices in Toronto have forced Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to consider living in Barrie for their new North American home, unconfirmed reports sug…
Local actress successfully deprograms member of hereditary cult
LONDON – Meghan Markle, an actress best known for her role on the USA network series Suits is now adding another role to her CV: deprogrammer. “Extracting a cult member is notoriously diffi…
New royal baby already accomplished everything in life he is expected to
LONDON – Swiftly following the birth of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s first child, Buckingham Palace spokespeople confirmed that he has already achieved all goals, objectives, and purposes exp…
Royals fuck
LONDON, UK – Following much speculation about the bedroom activities of royal family members Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the couple’s Kensington Palace office recently confirmed that th…
Sixth in line to meaningless figurehead role marries fourth lead in middling legal dramedy
WINDSOR, UK – In an elaborate and lavish spectacle watched by millions around the world today, an irrelevant member of an obsolete class system wedded a heretofore little-known cast member of the…
Suits actor Meghan Markle to marry man living off government assistance
WESTMINSTER – Actress Meghan Markle, who is best known from the television series Suits, is engaged to Henry Charles Albert David who, along with many of his family, is living on government…
Report: Millennials more likely to marry Prince Harry than get a job in their field
TORONTO – As Britain’s Prince Harry prepares to wed Meghan Markle this month, a new study has found that people born in the 1980s to early 90s have a higher chance of marrying him than finding a …