EDMONTON – In his first budget, Premier Jason Kenney has cut the basic income support for handicapped people and redirected the millions saved to fund a public inquiry into why people think…
Tag: Jason Kenney
Alberta passes law prohibiting females under 18 from speaking without a license
EDMONTON – The Alberta government has pulled an all nighter hammering out a new law that forces all females under the age of majority to apply for and receive a government license before ex…
“Just make oil prices leap to $120/barrel, and it will end,” says Jason Kenney waterboarding environmentalist
FORT McMURRAY, AB – After pouring a bucket of water over the head of a suspected environmentalist to simulate drowning, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney again demanded his chained captive raise…
12 suspected vegans arrested in latest anti-Alberta energy inquiry raid
EDMONTON – An early morning raid on a vegan restaurant in downtown Edmonton has lead to the arrest of 12 suspected vegans for anti-Alberta energy activities. The seven women and five men ar…
Alberta schools to avoid provincial cuts by pretending to be an oil sands company
EDMONTON – In response to a report that called for dramatic cuts to health care and education to balance the budget, Alberta’s schools have already started rebranding themselves after oil s…
Majority of Canadians support country’s separation from Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – A new poll suggests that a majority of Canadians support Canada making a clean break from Alberta Premier Jason Kenney. If a referendum were held today, 92% of Canadians would sa…
East Coast man who moved to Alberta three years ago to lead provincial separatist movement
EDMONTON – A Nova Scotia native and Alberta oilsands worker will lead a newly formed secession from Canada movement in the Western province. 36-year-old Gord McGovern of Antigonish will lea…
Jason Kenney vows to sue wildfires for defaming oil industry
EDMONTON – After wildfire smoke blanketed Edmonton yesterday and forced the cancellation of what should have been a triumphant celebration of the repeal of Alberta’s carbon tax, Premier Jas…
Alberta government lowers minimum wage for minors as part of new ‘Tiny Hands, Tiny Rights’ initiative
EDMONTON – Fulfilling their campaign pledge to strip away the rights of children, on Monday the UCP controlled legislature of Alberta passed a bill lowering the minimum wage for workers und…
Triumphant Jason Kenney celebrates win by preemptively blaming Rachel Notley for everything that’ll go wrong during his premiership
CALGARY – After thanking everyone who worked on the campaign and everyone who voted UCP, future Alberta premier Jason Kenney took a moment during his victory speech to give a special thank …
