EDMONTON – A new poll suggests that a majority of Canadians support Canada making a clean break from Alberta Premier Jason Kenney.
If a referendum were held today, 92% of Canadians would say ‘yes’ to the creation of a separate Jason Kenney state with its own laws, currency, and defence.
With an RCMP investigating his UCP leadership campaign for voter fraud, his destructive environmental policies, and his late 19th century social conservatism, Kenney sovereignty has never been more popular in Canada, say political analysts.
“We’re seeing this movement gain momentum throughout Canada,” said analyst Katrina Glant. “78% would like to see Kenney’s country be placed outside of territorial waters, 82% would be in favour of a rock located in the middle of Lake Louise, and 90% for the new country to exist in a vacuum devoid of Canada.”
A full 100% of Canadians polled said that the population of the Republic of Kenney should be one, plus the thousands of fake emails used to elect him in the UCP leadership.
“So long as we don’t have to subsidize any of Kenney’s provincial natural resources like Alberta’s oilsands or pipelines, I’m more than happy for the Premier to self-determine himself,” said Quebecer Helene Martin. “But I do support unilateral secession, so a referendum may not be necessary if he goes quietly.”
According to the Clarity Act, the Kenney referendum question must be clear in order for the federal government to begin secession talks such as “Does Jason Kenney’s musing about Alberta’s separation for partisan purposes make him an asshole?”