EDMONTON – Ahead of Game 4 Calgary Flames head coach Darryl Sutter unveiled a secret plan to actually play defense against Oilers forward Connor McDavid. “Our strategy of just letting…
Tag: hockey
Raising your kids to be Leafs fans classified as child abuse
TORONTO – Child Services has announced that, going forward, they will deem any parent encouraging their young children to be fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs to be negligent, abusive and bor…
Local man’s emotional well being still entirely dependent on sport controlled by these idiots
TORONTO – Local man Geoff Mclaughlin has confirmed that, at the age of 35, his entire emotional state still rides on the results of a game whose outcome is often left entirely in control of…
Poll: Majority of Canadians favour making sports betting illegal again just to get rid of the fucking ads
OTTAWA – A new poll by Angus Reid has confirmed that the vast majority of Canadians would favour de-legalizing sports betting if it means the incessant ads would finally stop. “When t…
Local man confused that knowing all the stats for the 1997 Buffalo Sabres hasn’t opened more doors
ST. CATHARINES, ON – Local man Devon Rettinger recently expressed bewilderment that his thorough knowledge of the statistics of the Buffalo Sabres in their 1996-1997 season hasn’t led to mo…
Report: Only way to settle Matthews v. McDavid debate is when they’re both playing for the Leafs
TORONTO – As the debate rages about who is the best player in the NHL: Auston Matthews or Connor McDavid, experts are saying there is no real way to properly settle the debate until they bo…
Opinion: this hockey game would be so much better if they just kissed already
By: Chad “The Bear” Powell Oh man! This hockey game is the best thing ever! Goals! Hotdogs! Sitting in the stands cheering! AW SHIT! Are you seeing that? Those all stars are brawling like animals…
NHL refs an inspiration to millions who would love to get paid for not doing their job
TORONTO – Usually it’s the hockey players that are praised for inspiring people. But today people are taking time to praise the unsung heroes of the game, the refs, for letting them k…
TSN, Sportsnet locked in fierce battle to see who can provide worse streaming service
TORONTO – Long-time competitors TSN and Sportsnet are continuing their years-long battle to see who can provide the lowest quality online streaming option for Canadians still willing to pay…
“Thank Christ, we needed this” says nation
BEIJING – The Canadian women’s hockey team has won the Olympic gold medal, prompting an exhausted nation to declare “Holy fucking shit, thank you.” “Between two and a half years of COVID and all …
