TORONTO – Despite the fact that he hasn’t actually said anything about the recent snowstorm, local man Jamal Cook has been frequently told by friends and colleagues from other parts of Cana…
Tag: Featured Post
Kingston residents shocked to discover terror plot not the fault of Queen’s students
KINGSTON – After a local teen was arrested on suspicion of a terrorist plot, residents were baffled to discover the incident had no apparent connection with Queen’s University or its students. “Y…
‘Yes, I am Jason’s mother,’ says wig-wearing Kenney opening the door to allowance-claimed retirement residence
CALGARY – Journalists who visited the residency claimed by UPC Leader Jason Kenney for a housing allowance found a man who suspiciously resembled Jason Kenney wearing a wig and a night gown…
White friend claims dreadlocks part of their cultural tradition of looking like a dumbass
St. Catharines, ON – Local white friend Caitlynn Matthews says her traditionally-Black hairstyle doesn’t count as cultural appropriation due to her family’s long-standing custom of looking like t…
Impressive! BC Legislature $3,200 wood-splitter can cut up to 5000 suspicious expense reports per minute
We’ve all heard about the life changing magic of tidying up, and officials at the BC Legislature are taking that philosophy to the next level with their all purpose wood-splitter that is equally …
Mueller indicts sixth Trump associate, four more gets him a free impeachment
WASHINGTON – The arrest of longtime Trump advisor Roger Stone has put special counsel Robert Mueller more than halfway towards what experts believe to be his goal, the completion of the Pre…
Trump ends government shutdown after realizing unpaid FBI agents can still arrest people
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has announced that he is temporarily ending the government shutdown since learning that furloughed FBI agents are still allowed to make arrests. Earl…
Canada’s Ambassador to China John McCallum takes second job as lawyer to Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou
BEIJING – Canada’s top diplomat in China has been retained as legal counsel for Meng Wanzhou, the Huawei CFO who is currently fighting extradition to the United States on fraud charges. Amb…
Experts predict Black Panther and BlacKkKlansman will lose Best Picture to the one about a white guy who had a black friend once
LOS ANGELES – Following the recent announcement of the nominees for the Academy Awards, entertainment industry experts and Las Vegas oddsmakers agree that Black Panther and BlacKkKlansman a…
Train carrying fresh water derails, contaminating Alberta’s oil sands
FORT MCMURRAY, AB – A freight train carrying over 50,000 litres of fresh water has derailed, devastating several open pit mines and tailing ponds in the Fort McMurray area. No injuries were…
