TORONTO – In a recent report released by the Canadian Geographical Society, there appear to be upwards of 10 cities outside of Toronto that not only have a bunch of buildings and houses within their municipal boundaries, but also have streets connecting the different structures for transportation purposes.
Reaction to the report has been a mix of shock and bewilderment, particularly in Toronto. “I heard rumours, but it’s different when you actually see the hard proof in front of you,” said Eva Johnson, who owns a condo in downtown Toronto. “Winnipeg? Are you sure? And people live there? I guess!”
Despite Torontonians’ traditional belief that the world ended in a sheer cliff at Steeles Avenue, there had long been whispers that there were other places with human life beyond the city limits.
In a press conference, Neil Denton, the author of the study, showed reporters a yellowed map of a place called ‘Alberta’ with several tiny cities and, according to the same map, a sizable dragon population.
Other Torontonians failed to take the report seriously. “I don’t know,” said Other Cities Skeptic Perkin Warbeck, of Yonge and Eglinton. “I mean, look at this place. Chicoutimi? And they speak their own language? I feel like I’m reading a sci-fi novel here.”
The report has gotten a reaction even at the very top levels of government. “Interesting. They also have a King Street in Hamilton?” observed Toronto Mayor John Tory after reading the report. “But why don’t they just use our King Street? Oh and their Main street is right in the middle of their city. Weird choice.” Tory seemed most concerned that the other cities each had their own mayor, dismissing them as, “pretenders to the throne of the one true mayor.”
After the reality of the existence of other places set in, Torontonians turned to speculating what, if anything, the people in these towns do. Suggestions included travelling to Toronto, biding their time before travelling to Toronto, and looking at pictures of Toronto.
No one from the cities described in the report could be reached for comment, due to the fact that their phones use different area codes and it is suspected they do not have the internet there.
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