SASKATOON – A Christmas tree still on display in the Miller household’s living room is uncertain if the family that purchased it is planning to celebrate Orthodox Christmas, or if they’ve just be…
Tag: Featured Article
Jean Chrétien hired as Trudeau’s bodyguard
OTTAWA — In response to violent protesters throwing rocks and calling for his execution, Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has hired Jean Chrétien as his personal bodyguard. The 87-year-old has sever…
Jealous O’Toole orders staffers to throw rocks at him
GATINEAU, QC – Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole has instructed his staff to throw rocks at him at his next election event. “Jimmy, this sympathy [Trudeau] is getting in the press is not fai…
Erin O’Toole breaks with platform by running for the Liberals
VANCOUVER – In another sudden platform shift, Conservative Party leader Erin O’Toole announced he will run under the Liberal Party banner. O’Toole made the announcement after re…
“This is so Kafkaesque,” says man with penis stuck in watermelon
AIRDRIE, AB – In a harrowing ordeal that serves as a trenchant insight into the alienation fundamental to the human condition, Charles Sharp’s wing wang is currently jammed in a 23 pound watermel…
Dead whale really ruining the experience of being carried across beach by God
NANAIMO, BC – According to local sources, the rotting carcass of a beached grey whale has complicated Becky Shelton’s profound spiritual crisis. “Don’t get me wrong, I love that God is here to c…
CRA improves customer service by hanging up on every third caller
OTTAWA – In a press release issued this past Wednesday, the Canada Revenue Agency has vowed to revolutionize its beloved customer service by hanging up on even more callers. According to CRA spok…
As Google threatens to leave Australia, AskJeeves rebrands as “What’s the John Dory, Jeevo”
CANBERRA, AU – As a result of the ongoing dispute between Google and the Australian government over the News Media Bargaining Code, formerly defunct search engine AskJeeves re-emerged on th…
Canada’s vaccine roll out in slow motion for dramatic effect
TORONTO – In what many expected to be a rapid deployment of vaccines, Canada’s immunization response to the coronavirus has been in slow motion to ensure a dramatic effect that will captiva…