By Alexander Botschinsky Today I want to thank you Mom and Dad, for the support you’ve given me throughout my life, and for letting me follow all of my dreams, goals and passions in a way that c…
Tag: Fathers
Local dad convinced his balls will not fall out of jogging shorts this year
GLENVALE, B.C. — The community of Glenvale is breathing a sigh of relief as John McHammond has announced he is sure his testicles will remain in his jogging shorts this year. “I love to run…
I bet my daughter could beat up your daughter
By Henry Smithersbee Hey you! How strong is your daughter? I bet you that my daughter could totally beat up your daughter. Yeah, she’s really strong, and tough and stuff. So I don’t think your da…
Local father reaches enlightenment while screaming at new computer
HAMILTON, ON – After refusing to read the manual for his new Dell laptop, local senior James Hoffmann achieved a state of nirvana while screaming profanities at the electronic device. “At f…
Local dad pretty sure firework should have exploded by now
BRANDON, MB – Seeing as it’s been a good five or ten minutes since he lit his Roman candle, local dad Brook Jensen reports that he’s “almost certain” that the shell …
Protective dad hides mirrors from ugly son
Bill Donovan is a stay-at-home accountant, a hobbyist, and a vegetarian, but it all comes second to lovingly hiding his only son from an ugly reflection. “It was hard at first, but you get used t…
Local dad less enthused than hoped about ‘daddy’s girl’ back tattoo
OSHAWA, ON – Ashley Moffat, 22, rushed home Sunday morning to show her father the new message of love she had carved into her skin as a birthday gift to him, only to be disappointed by his …
Being healthy is so overrated these days
By Dale Eckert Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in the world who sees through all the health-hype. These days, you can’t pick up a magazine without reading about some nonsense guru pushing …