Winter is full of small joys – like sipping hot chocolate by the fire, looking at twinkly Christmas lights, and stomping all over snow forts that children spent hours building. But the absolute b…
Tag: Clothing
Unworn shirt just happy to be part of vacation wardrobe
WINNIPEG — After failing to make it out of the hotel room on a recent trip to Honolulu, insurance broker Dave Watt’s paisley button up shirt says it’s just happy to be part of the vacation wardro…
25% off sale on pants actually just regular price capris
TORONTO – Controversy arose this week at a downtown location of the popular retailer Urban Outfitters, as a “25% Off Pants” sale was revealed to be a rack of regularly priced capri pants. Shopper…
Woman shops for new wardrobe, like it matters
MONTREAL – A local woman has begun shopping for brand new clothes, even though nothing fucking matters anymore. “I’m sick of everything I own”, says Layla Veenstra, who just finished a doc…
Underwear dropped on laundromat floor still clean…right?
Bowmanville, ON — After dropping her freshly-washed undies on the laundromat floor yesterday afternoon, local woman Beth Jonks has determined that the pair is still clean enough to wear… probabl…
Resilient 11-year-old Ugg boots survive annual closet purge
LONDON, ONT – In a stunning feat of perseverance, an ageing, tattered pair of camel coloured Ugg boots have managed to survive yet another year in their owner’s annual closet purge. “I just can’t…
Sears closure leaves nation’s mothers unsure where to buy you ill-fitting pants
WINNIPEG – Sears Canada has announced plans to close down all operations, leaving the nation’s mothers at a loss for a place to purchase you irregularly sized sweaters, marked-down belts, a…
Quiz: You think you’re better than me?!
I saw you giving me the eye from across the subway car! Yeah, I’m talking to you Mr. plaid shirt and blue jeans! Something about me amuses you or something? Take this simple quiz to find out if y…