OTTAWA – As American celebrities and liberal politicos continue to praise Canada’s approach to gun control, the country’s smugness monitors are reporting near record highs. R…
Tag: celebrities
5 celebrities and 1 murderer you didn’t know are Canadian
Canada is home to a ton of talented people (and a disturbing amount of murderers)! But sometimes when they get famous it’s in the U.S., and no one realizes they’re from the Great Whit…
The Golden Globes celebrate Hollywood’s best and brightest bribers
This past Wednesday, the Hollywood Foreign Press released their hotly anticipated nominations for the 2021 Golden Globe awards. After delays due to the global pandemic, the nominations were final…
Celebrity reassures other celebrities that it’s okay to be totally fine right now
LOS ANGELES – In a group chat with a long list of like-minded famous acquaintances, multi-platinum recording artist John Legend assured his fellow celebrities that they could not be faulted…
Meet Tilda Swinton’s sister, Close Bracket Swinton
DUNS, SCOTLAND – After years of living in her sister’s shadow, Tilda Swinton’s younger sister, Close Bracket Swinton, is ready to take the acting world by storm by producing, directing and …
Local woman has hundreds of facebook statuses ready to go for celebrities yet to die
CRANBROOK, BC – Claiming “you can’t be too prepared”, local woman Lori Patel revealed this week that she has mournful Facebook statuses ready to go for the upcoming deaths of hundreds of ce…
Courageous actors speak out against Harvey Weinstein now that he can’t affect their careers
HOLLYWOOD – Showing the fortitude the entertainment industry is known for, numerous actors have come forward to condemn accused sexual predator Harvey Weinstein now that he has no power to …
2016’s dead music icons form unlistenable supergroup in Heaven
HEAVEN – Boasting a lineup that includes some of the greatest talent of the 20th and 21st centuries, the deceased music icons of 2016 debuted a new supergroup in the afterlife this week wit…
Aleppo residents just feel super bad your favourite celebrities died in 2016
ALEPPO, SYRIA – Residents of the war-torn city of Aleppo in Syria, who have this past year become the victims of further atrocities in the form of random civilian executions, are strongly e…
TMZ goes into DEFCON 1 as Brangelina split surfaces
MARINA DEL REY, CA, USA — Following the submission of divorce papers for Hollywood power couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, celebrity news outlet TMZ went into its highest level of alert,…