cat Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: cat

Breaking: Cat unimpressed

KAMLOOPS, BC – After several alarming reports, we can now confirm that the Jacobs family house cat, Jojo is not having any of it. “He won’t eat, he won’t respond to his name. He’s just kind of st…

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Baby determined to put entire housecat in mouth

VANCOUVER—Reports have confirmed that nine-month old Madison Karn wants more than anything in the world to fit her parents’ 10-year old Himalayan mix cat, Mittens, entirely into her mouth. Madiso…

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Sweater mostly cat hair at this point

MONTAGUE, PEI – Sporting her favourite sweater for a weekend gathering, friends of local woman Theresa McCallum, 34, revealed today that the black turtleneck she was wearing was undeniably …

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STUDY: Sunbeam through window proves cat dusty

OTTAWA – Vexing people with allergies, a series of afternoon sunbeams through a window have proven that a local cat emits a surprising number of dust particles after moving or scratching it…

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BREAKING: Local dog feeling great

KAMLOOPS — Late-breaking reports indicate local golden retriever, Max, is loving life and is just having the best day. “Woof! Woof!” shouted Max the dog to a crowd of fascinated onlookers a…

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Hero cat saves couch by barfing on carpet

Mississauga – The Ryan family cat, Cupcake was awarded the household medal of bravery after saving their brand new sectional by vomiting on the carpet instead. “At first I thought it was a hairba…

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Cat just keeps getting bigger

HAMILTON, ON – Despite health risks and the recommendations of veterinarians, local cat Cheesecake has continued to be fed, and continued to grow, at an alarming rate. “I understand h…

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