TORONTO – While the COVID-19 quarantine has resulted in some grocery stores dealing with food shortages, availability of gluten-free products remains at an all-time high. “People are desper…
Tag: bread
Report: Jessica acting like a real domestic slut ever since she got a Le Creuset Dutch Oven
RICHMOND HILL, ON – Upon acquiring a $500 Le Creuset brand dutch oven, sources are reporting that Jessica Sanghvi has been acting like a notoriously domesticated slut by spending the majori…
Deformed sourdough unceremoniously buried under the cover of night
Orillia, ON – What began as one quarantined woman’s attempt at bringing yet another sourdough bread into the world, has ended in tragedy as the severely disfigured loaf is currently being u…
Local hipster keeps telling everyone he was on EI before it was cool
EAST VANCOUVER – In the midst of a global pandemic, the government is scrambling to assist those who are struggling financially. While Canadians are trying to cope with losing their jobs, h…
Woman moves beyond bread-making stage of lockdown, breaks ground on mill in apartment
MOOSE JAW, SK – After a few weeks of staying home, Heather Chung has surpassed the bread making stage of self-isolation and has begun building a full-fledged flour mill in her one bedroom a…
Loblaws accused of price-fixing scheme on apology gift cards from last price-fixing scheme
Brampton, ON — Grocery chain Loblaws, which recently offered $25 gift cards to apologize for a nationwide 14-year-long price fixing scheme on bread, has been accused of subjecting the gift …
New Canada Food Guide asks, ‘You really gonna eat that?’
OTTAWA – Canada’s Food Guide is getting a complete overhaul, revamping the ten-year-old publication to deliver a clear nutritional message: “You’re doing it wrong.” The new Food Guide will …
Man’s attempt to cut fresh bread goes horribly, horribly wrong
BRANTFORD, ON – Traumatized victims are attempting to move on with their lives after witnessing a disastrous attempt by local man Ian Pendergast to cut a loaf of fresh bread into equal slic…