Arizona woman’s uterus convicted of manslaughter after miscarriage
PHOENIX, ARIZONA – Under the state’s recently passed Women’s Health and Safety Act, an Arizona woman’s uterus was convicted of manslaughter yesterday after miscarrying 3 weeks i…
University student regrets buying actual moleskin journal
MONTREAL – Jason Durant, 21, originally of Oak Ridges, Ontario, was disappointed when the “moleskine” journal that he ordered online turned out to be a journal made out of an actual mole’s …
Local dad less enthused than hoped about ‘daddy’s girl’ back tattoo
OSHAWA, ON – Ashley Moffat, 22, rushed home Sunday morning to show her father the new message of love she had carved into her skin as a birthday gift to him, only to be disappointed by his …
Unemployed Knight mourns the collapse of Canada’s questing industry
SIOUX LOOKOUT, ON – Sir Armaunthat de Soulecoute, 34, of Sioux Lookout, Ontario, described the collapse of Canada’s questing industry as a ‘tragedy of the commons’ to a gathering of the pre…
TIFF UPDATE: Everyone agrees that one movie you didn’t see was the movie you HAD to see this year
TORONTO – After 2 weeks, dozens of screenings and thousands of hours of your life spent in dark, dirty movie theaters, critics and audiences have agreed that the movie of the festival was t…
