Poll: Fewer Canadians plan on living after retirement
OTTAWA – A new Environics poll indicated that fewer Canadians are expecting to live after they retire from their jobs. 47% of Canadians responded that they have little or no hope that they …
Olivia Chow announces she is almost ready to consider announcing her candidacy for mayor of Toronto
TORONTO, ON- A recent report from the office of Olivia Chow suggests that the final preparations for her official announcement of her mayoral candidacy are possibly underway. “I have recently giv…
EXCLUSIVE: Fate of missing Malaysian airplane finally conjectured upon
KUALA LUMPUR – Days after Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 mysteriously vanished without a trace, there is finally conjecture on just what exactly happened. “It took a lot of digging, but I …
Pauline Marois dismisses PQ candidate who shared islamophobic message in English
QUÉBEC – Pauline Marois confirmed today that she had dismissed Jean Carrière, the PQ’s candidate for Lafontaine, because an islamophobic image he posted on Facebook contained English text. “Ours …
Man trapped in IKEA for three weeks emerges knowing only how to församla the fyrkantig
MONTREAL – After being lost inside the Montreal IKEA superstore for over three weeks, a local man is now only able to converse in IKEA themed Swedish. Jerry Larsson, who subsisted mainly on…
I bet my daughter could beat up your daughter
By Henry Smithersbee Hey you! How strong is your daughter? I bet you that my daughter could totally beat up your daughter. Yeah, she’s really strong, and tough and stuff. So I don’t think your da…
Federal government introduces new immigration demerit point system
OTTAWA – Immigration Minister Chris Alexander announced today a new immigrant demerit point licensing system to compliment the existing immigration point system. The demerit point system &#…
Brave theatre student comes out as straight
TORONTO – Third year theatre student Braydon Stamkos has revealed to his family and friends that he could no longer lie by omission and revealed that he is straight. “For too long, I have b…
Report: Majority of climate change documentaries have slanted climate change prevention agenda
OTTAWA – A damning new report released by the Petrol Centre for Climate Studies has revealed that over 95% of documentary films featuring data on climate change have “unequivocal” biases th…
Environmental scientists struggle to close giant hole in climate change denier’s layer of reasoning
GENEVA – Researchers at the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) are currently working hard to seal the chasmal gap in the arguments regurgitated by deniers of global climate change a…
