OTTAWA – After mistakenly attributing several politically incorrect comments to Liberal MP Marlo Raynolds, Sun Media has reviewed its archives and found that nearly all of its content from the last 18 years has been factually wrong, slanderous, or simply offensive.
“Whew! Good thing we caught all that,” said a relieved Ottawa Sun managing editor, Michelle Walters. “Ah well, I’m sure this sort of thing happens all the time at other newspapers.”
“Probably just as often too,” she added, taking another swig from her flask.
Currently, the only items remaining on the website are the handful of sports articles that get the scores right and do not compare former Toronto Mayor David Miller to Hitler.
“It’s hard to keep up with the news cycle,” explained, Erik Peladeau, the VP of Sun Media’s parent company, Quebecor. “The world doesn’t slow down for your mistakes. Sometimes you misspell something, sometimes you accidentally publish a racist cartoon about Olivia Chow, hell, sometimes you let Ezra [Levant] open his mouth on camera.”
At press time, Sun News has already apologized and published retractions for such upcoming articles as “AIDS: a gay conspiracy to steal your tax dollars”, “Aboriginals giving themselves cancer to spoil tar sands fun”, and “Justin Trudeau: more like Justin Jew-deau”
