ETOBICOKE, ON – During a speech in front of over a hundred supporters yesterday morning, Prime Minister Harper had to pause several times to ask Rob and Doug Ford to eat their chicken wings more...
Trudeau flies paraglider to rally
KITCHENER — Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau wowed his supporters today by arriving at a rally in a motorized paraglider. Despite a busy schedule, the 43 year-old politician managed to squeeze in ...
Handy ghost returns to complete unfinished basement
LETHBRIDGE, AB – After moving into their dream house in Lethbridge, Alberta the family of Tom and Christie Miller have reported hearing “weird” noises and seeing glimpses of a wispy, transparent...
Elections Canada apologizes for long lines, offers voters complimentary ballots
OTTAWA — Taking responsibility for long wait times to vote, Elections Canada has offered all advanced voters complimentary ballots in addition to the one they’ve already cast. “We apologize for ...
Tories running out of voters to alienate
WATERLOO, ON — With only a week left before the election, Stephen Harper’s Conservatives are trying hard to find new voters and alienate them with their statements and policies filled with preju...
Dozens of Disney employees set free during latest release from the Vault
BURBANK, CA – More than 40 Disney employees who had been declared missing since Feb. 10. were discovered today during the Diamond Edition re-release of Aladdin, having been trapped in the Disney...
If the dinosaurs had been armed, they wouldn’t be extinct right now
BY DR. BEN CARSON, U.S. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE For the past few years, the Second Amendment rights of all U.S. citizens have been under attack by gun control lobbyists, who would see America stripped ...
Panicked husband realizes turkey pan has been soaking since last Thanksgiving
BRANDON, MA – As his family prepared for this weekend’s thanksgiving festivities local man Stephen Island realized that he had left the pan they use to cook the turkey every year sitting in a po...
Montreal to dump entire editorial staff of MTLBlog into the St Lawrence
Montreal Mayor Denis Coderre made a dramatic announcement today outlining his controversial plan to dump the entire editorial staff of MTLBlog, along with thousands of its most inane listicles and egr...
Meet the 23 year-old PMO staffer who denied all of the Syrian refugees into Canada
OTTAWA — In a small office located within the bowels of Stephen Harper’s PMO sits a young man responsible for halting all Syrian refugee applications. When he’s not busy wiretapping Justin Trude...
