OTTAWA — In a small office located within the bowels of Stephen Harper’s PMO sits a young man responsible for halting all Syrian refugee applications.
When he’s not busy wiretapping Justin Trudeau’s personal cell phone, 23 year-old PMO staffer Matthew McIsaac has spent the past five months denying thousands of refugees any hope of entering Canada.
“We told the bureaucrats that there was no ‘Immigration’ in ‘Citizenship and Immigration’, but they weren’t getting the message,’ explained the recent graduate of the University of Calgary political science program. “So the PM told me to intervene about the problem based on a ‘security risk.’”
McIssac laughed heartily at the inane rationale.
“And it was really that easy!” chuckled the young man wearing an Armani suit. “I told the spineless bureaucrats that there were members of the Islamic State among these refugees and not a single application was processed for months. I put another 10,000 into the shredder.”
In related news, scientists are still trying to figure out how anyone working in the PMO can still sleep at night.