Manitoba Premier now accepting applications for Finance Minister on Craigslist
WINNIPEG – After the resignation of five cabinet ministers in protest, Manitoba Premier Greg Selinger is attracting the very best replacements with job advertisements on Craigslist. The onl…
Local insomniac having hard time appreciating end to daylight savings
PERTH, ON – Local insomniac Evan Sampson is having difficulty appreciating the end of Daylight Savings time, which grants him an additional hour in his day. “Why?” asked a visib…
Man suffocates to death in Mike Duffy mask
HALIFAX, NS – Tragedy struck a Halloween party in downtown Halifax last night. Joe Wallis, who was dressed up as Mike Duffy was pronounced dead after suffocating in his mask. “We believe th…
Children rejoice after woman who handed out raisins for Halloween dies
BARRIE – Local children are celebrating after learning that the widow who keeps giving them raisins for Halloween has died. “Alright, she’s dead!” rejoiced nine-year old Jackson LeMay weari…
Let’s not jump to conclusions about Jian until we have the facts
BY: BIG EARS TEDDY Friends, fans, Canadians, I, like many of you, was deeply disturbed by allegations made earlier this week against my friend, roommate, and boss Jian Ghomeshi. I, like many of y…
Study: Most Canadians can’t name all 9 provinces
A study released today showed 93% of Canadians could not name all 9 Canadian provinces and 2 territories. The study, by Ipos-Reid, struck some observers as worrying. “When only 27% of peopl…
Income splitting to help struggling wealthy family buy another BMW
RICHMOND HILL – The Harper government’s plan to permit married couples with children to split their earnings for a higher tax savings will help a disadvantaged family struggling to buy anot…
Local pumpkin excited to find out what Jack-o-Lantern is
WHITBY — A delighted local pumpkin has expressed mounting excitement about getting to see his first Jack-o-Lantern this Halloween. “From the minute they [the Henderson family, the pumpkin’s purch…
CBC Execs: Four sexual assaults is one too many
TORONTO – At a press conference today CBC executives announced that Jian Ghomeshi was fired after it was revealed that up to four women have accused him of sexual assault or sexual harassme…
Harper: ‘We will not let terrorism stop us from taking away your rights’
OTTAWA – At a press conference today Prime Minister Stephen Harper stated that his government would not let terrorist acts intimidate him from taking away Canadians’ civil liberties. “Terro…
