Parizeau wins sovereignty from his corporeal form
MONTREAL – Former Quebec premier Jacques Parizeau, who nearly lead the province to sovereignty in 1995, won his lifelong battle for independence from his body this week. He was 84. In a sta…
York Regional Police claim black bear shot on lawn was reaching for officer’s firearm
Newmarket, ON — On Monday, an unarmed male black bear roaming through Newmarket backyards was shot dead after police claimed the bear made a distinct motion for a responding officer’s gun. …
Courtroom stenographer actually writing stenographer fan-fiction
OTTAWA – A recent analysis of transcripts has revealed that stenographer Maggie Peck has actually been working on a work of fiction about the sensual life of a courtroom stenographer. “I st…
Landlord definitely knew about single, giant bedbug before you signed
TORONTO – Despite his claims to the contrary, sources confirm there’s ‘literally no way’ your new landlord didn’t know about the four-foot bedbug living in the second bedroom. “I no know ab…
Subway busker plays YouTube video of better busker for spare change
MONTREAL — A busker operating outside of Beaudry station has taken to playing YouTube videos of better buskers for money. “I play all the hits,” said the busker, Seb Trudel-Gend…
Marvel announces film schedule through 43rd century AD
LOS ANGELES – Shortly after announcing a schedule of their upcoming films until 2019, Marvel Studios has released a new schedule, this one with every film planned for the next 41 centuries.…
9 other things that are ‘Just Not Ready’ according to the Conservative attack ads
1. These Bananas Source: http://www.public-domain-image.com These bananas are sadly still too dependent on that tree. Just Not Ready. 2. This Child, Considered For A Job As An Astronaut Source:…
9 tips to make flying with your child easier
A misbehaving child during a flight can make your flight very stressful for all passengers. Here’s some parental tips to make jet-setting with your young ones much easier. 1. Give your chil…
Report: Hozier late for church
NEWCASTLE, IRELAND – Despite numerous pleas for friends, family, and music fans worldwide to “take (him) to church”, 2015 Grammy nominee Hozier has reportedly missed the start of Sunday mass. “I …
