Black hole as big as 17 billion suns surprises astronomers who clearly weren’t looking very hard
CAPE CANAVERAL — After decades of so-called scrutinizing the cosmos, scientists have finally managed to notice a supermassive black hole staring them right in the face. “This one’s on us,” …
After waking from twelve year coma, local man excited to ask nurse “wassssup!?”
KINGSTON – After more than a decade in a vegetative state, 27-year-old Kingston man Alex Hinds opened his eyes last week much to the surprise of healthcare providers. When asked what he planned t…
NDP convention delegates explore virtual reality where the NDP won the 2015 election
EDMONTON — Although the party lost 51 seats and earned less than 20 percent of the popular vote in the recent federal election, the NDP faithful can create their own alternate reality where…
Trip to Cape Breton turns tragic after four overdose on Rankin Family
SYDNEY, NS — A trip to Nova Scotia’s most famous island ended in tragedy yesterday after four tourists from Ottawa overdosed on the iconic country-folk group, the Rankin Family. The inciden…
Embattled QC cabinet minister steps down, maintains he flew to Florida for anti-corruption golf tournament
QUEBEC CITY — In his resignation as Treasury Board president, Quebec Liberal MNA Sam Hamad replied to claims he went to Florida to escape an ethics probe, telling reporters “my honor is as …
Beardless Tom Mulcair challenges bearded Tom Mulcair for NDP leadership
EDMONTON – As the NDP prepares to meet for its annual party convention, a new challenger has emerged to current party leader bearded Tom Mulcair: a Tom Mulcair without a scraggly, rapidly g…
OJ believes OJ did it after binge-watching American Crime Story in jail
Lovelock Correctional Center- Correctional Officers say inmate O.J. Simpson has become convinced that the main character from the television series American Crime Story: The Trial of OJ Simpson …
Mississippi boundaries redrawn to officially relocate state to the wrong side of history
JACKSON, MISS. – Following the passage of a bill containing sweeping anti-LGBTQ legislation, Mississippi lawmakers have voted to relocate the state to the wrong side of history, just to mak…
Panama law firm pretty pleased they were able to hide the human-hunting stuff
PANAMA CITY – Representatives of Mossack Fonseca, the law firm at the center of the Panama Papers leak, have spent the days since the leak visibly relieved that none of the human-hunting st…
