WASHINGTON, D.C. – After eight years of trying to sleep while the ghost of Lyndon Baines Johnson stalked up and down the Presidential bedroom, ranting about the size of its spectral phallus, for...
Editorial: Is the French Canadian keyboard too good for question marks nowÉ
Editorial by: Morgan Levin I am a good person who enjoys the simpler things in life. What I’d like to know is what sin I must have committed in a past life to warrant the impromptu switching of keyboa...
Local woman being gaslighted by raccoons
TORONTO – Using their urban survival skills and manual dexterity, a family of raccoons is taking perverse pleasure in making a local woman think she’s losing her mind. “I could have sworn I had ...
Conservatives simplify leadership selection process by removing part with demon egg
Good news for all the Tory leadership candidates, except for Kellie Leitch....
Journalist critical of Putin accidentally hits bullet while running at 1200 kilometres per hour
Russian journalist Saveli Nikolaev, known for his criticism of Putin’s interference in the American election, is reported to have been found dead on the streets of Moscow after running at 1200 km/h in...
Point/Counterpoint: Brad Wall vs Brad Wall on refugee bans
Point: We needed to suspend refugees from accessing this country over national security concerns By: Brad Wall, Premier of Saskatchewan As I have said an open letter to the Prime Minister that I wrote...
Kellie Leitch heartbroken that people would act on hate she’s incited
OTTAWA – Conservative leadership hopeful Kellie Leitch expressed her dismay Sunday over the fatal shooting at a Quebec City mosque that left at least five dead, saying that she’s devastated people wou...
Man worried people who invented written law, algebra, cities, navigation, going to ruin Canadian Culture
BRANDON, MB – Worried about immigration from ‘The Middle East’, local man Todd Morton fears Canadian culture may be destroyed by people from a part of the world that invented pretty much everyth...
I voted to release millions of hornets, and I already regret it
I’m an average citizen, like you. I could be your neighbor, your co-worker, a member of your extended family. I’m also one of the many, many people who recently voted to release millions of furious ho...
Nation’s dads issue collective “OPA!” after plate dropped in restaurant
MISSISSAUGA, ON – In response to the accidental dropping and breaking of a plate by a server at a Mississauga Kelsey’s earlier today, the nation’s dads have publicly issued a collective “OPA!” t...
