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Editorial: Is the French Canadian keyboard too good for question marks nowÉ

Editorial by: Morgan Levin

I am a good person who enjoys the simpler things in life. What I’d like to know is what sin I must have committed in a past life to warrant the impromptu switching of keyboard settings from “US”to “French Canadian”É

At what point did our lovely Francophone brethren decide they were too good for question marksÉ Are they longer concerned with positing queriesÉ Have they moved on to assertive and condescending statements, since they seem to know everything alreadyÉ Goddamnit. It’s stuck again, isn’t itÉ How do I escape this digital hellÉ!É!

I am absolutely flummoxed by their complete erasure of what I would claim is a highly valuable punctuation mark. It’s definitely in my top 5. Beats the semicolon in a landslide, which they’ve decided to leave well enough alone.

Oh. Oh my. I’m being told that they haven’t removed the question mark entirely. Simply relocated to being accessible via “SHIFT + 6”. Wow, am I embarrassed! In retrospect, I guess it does make sense to have accented letters more readily available if they are in higher use when typing in French. I suppose my complaint has less to do with the entirety of a province and more to do with the default settings of my 7 year old Toshiba laptop.

This editorial has really run the gamut of my grammatical emotions. Now to email it to my editor. Where’s the “at” symbol? I have to press ALT key??? That’s it. Burn it all now. I’ll tell you where you can take your shitty keyboard and shove it @