DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – After yet another day of protests and media rebukes, Donald Trump is privately wondering if this backlash is due to a planned policy, enacted policy, an offensive tweet, o...
iPhone autocorrecting words to ‘ALL HAIL THE GRAVE KING’ again
CUPERTINO, CA – Apple shares took a dip today, as iPhones worldwide once again began to autocorrect messages to read ‘ALL HAIL THE GRAVE KING’. “Hey, are you going to the ALL HAIL THE GRAVE KING...
CANADIAN VOICES: Baby capybaras born at High Park Zoo
After a high-profile escape from their enclosure at Toronto’s High Park Zoo last summer, two capybaras named Bonnie and Clyde have given birth to three offspring. What’s your say? L...
Report: Friend who claims to be “so broke” at brunch probably isn’t
OTTAWA – Findings from a recent study executed by the University of Ottawa’s Institutional Research and Planning department suggest that individuals who claim to be “so broke” during the course of bru...
Trump demands credit for defeating unpopular Trumpcare bill
WASHINGTON DC — Following the last-minute cancellation of a vote on the Republican “Trumpcare” bill, President Trump has questioned why he isn’t being lavished with praise for singlehandedly def...
Friends of DIY couple dreading latest batch of their homemade porn
WINNIPEG – Local married couple Amanda and Jared Ricci, known for their various “do-it-yourself” projects, have once again invited friends over to sample their latest batch of homemade pornograp...
‘No one took my podcast recommendations seriously,’ yuppie bemoans
TORONTO – 26-year-old Samuel Griff shakes his head disdainfully as he recollects the countless times his podcast recommendations have been dismissed by friends, family, and co-workers. “I just w...
Guide To: Travelling To The US
Travelling to the United States of America? Be sure to take these precautions!...
Thousands arrested under Shariah law after passage of anti-Islamophobia motion, imagines local man
STRATHROY, ON – A local man’s imagination is reporting that thousands of Canadians have been incarcerated under the country’s new Sharia law, thanks to the passage of the Anti-Islamophobia motio...
