OTTAWA – US President Donald Trump’s threat of imposing sanctions against the Canadian dairy industry has caused the federal government to increase the cheese threat to its highest level, CHEESE...
Wife’s affair gives husband time to finally catch up on Netflix queue
Dartmouth, NS – After finding definitive proof his wife was having an extramarital affair, local husband Nathan Wexler is using his newly freed up evenings to catch up on his Netflix queue. R...
Having children helps me cope with the fact I will never own a giraffe
By Stan Campull Like many of us, I had a lot of dreams that I was hoping to fulfill in my youth. A well-paying job, a nice home, a pet giraffe. You know, the American dream. But as I got older, I star...
Burned out, abandoned Blue Jays bandwagon found on side of 401
COBOURG, ON – Northumberland Ontario Provincial Police are looking for leads after a charred 2015 Ford Bandwagon full of Blue Jays paraphernalia was found outside of Cobourg near the 401. “...
Inspiring! Read the tweets that brought down Mussolini
We can all agree that when history looks back at times of political unrest it is comedians, and not philosophers or political leaders that are remembered. Many might argue that it was armed resistance...
Beloved character ‘Alex Jones’ jumps shark with child custody storyline
DALLAS, TX – In a jarring plot twist, beloved series InfoWars has locked its star character “Alex Jones” in a bitter legal battle for custody of his son and two daughters for the past several; episode...
Learn EVERYTHING you need to know about the Israel-Palestine conflict in just 60 seconds
BV+ tackles the Middle East....
Radicalized bacterium joins antibiotic resistance
The gut of Rachel McGrath, ON – Weakened but not destroyed by a ruthless class of broad-spectrum agents, an E. Coli bacterium who inhabits Oakville resident Rachel McGrath’s gastrointestinal tract has...
Report: CBC’s ‘Canada: A Story of Us’ unfairly excludes giant banana in Melita, MB
MELITA, MB – Adding to a mounting number of complaints against CBC’s historical docu-drama, the Manitoba town of Melita has criticized ‘Canada: A Story of Us’ for ignoring the history behind the...
TTC Shop to sell giant sticks operators still use to move streetcar tracks
TORONTO – The TTC Shop has introduced a new item for sale: life size replicas of the large sticks operators still use to move the streetcar tracks for some reason. “We’ve done quite well selling...
