OTTAWA – Newly elected Leader of the Opposition Andrew Scheer has promised his fellow Conservatives that his agenda and policies will successfully allow them to form a government after the upcom...
Torrie Lauren
After she got fired from The Blaze, we just had to hire her....
Man wondering if date special enough to shave shoulders
SAULT STE. MARIE, ON – Looking at his back in the mirror, a local man is pondering whether or not the date he is about to go on is special enough to merit shaving his shoulders. “I like Sheila,”...
Inspiring! Meet the first Frat Boy to ever chant “U.S.A! U.S.A!”
Have you ever wondered why after chugging a particularly warm beer, one feels compelled to chant “U.S.A, U.S.A”, even if you’re not in the United States? Well wonder no more, because we found the boy ...
WestJet realizes it can expand its business by also flying east
CALGARY – After twenty-one years in the commercial aircraft industry, WestJet Airlines has finally started offering flights that fly in an eastward direction. “It’s a huge departure for us,” say...
Sean Hannity reports Clintons killed Sean Hannity, while slowly raising pistol to own head
NEW YORK – After months suggesting the DNC was responsible for the murder of Seth Rich, Fox News reporter Sean Hannity is now reporting the Clintons have assassinated Fox News reporter Sean Hann...
NASA finally answers the big question: what gender is the Sun?
TORONTO – After years of speculation, scientists have finally answered the question that has plagued humanity for generations – whether the sun is a boy sun or a girl sun. “We’ve been working on...
Portraits of Canadiosity: Margaret Wente
Margaret Wente. A great Canadian, and an even better plagiarist....
Dating app algorithm operates on assumption that we have any fucking clue what we want
WATERLOO – A new dating app released yesterday plans to operate on the assumption that users have any tangible idea what they want, both from the app and from their romantic endeavours as a who...
But if we raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour, how will I know that I’m better than my fellow man?
By: Dave Heder, construction worker This week Ontario’s new PC government announced they were freezing a plan to raise the minimum wage to $15.00 an hour by 2019. Already a lot of people have wr...
