Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts thei...
Kingston man unable to repair home due to downed tree’s heritage status
KINGSTON, ON – A Kingstonian man has been unable to repair the damage to his home after a heritage-designated tree fell on top of it during a storm. The 223-year-old protected fir tree was struc...
27 year-old who hasn’t woken up before 9:30am in 8 years thinks he could run farm if society crumbles
VANCOUVER – Despite never waking up with the sunrise in his entire life, local 27 year-old Jamie Pasternak believes that he could own and operate a farm if Canadian society ever collapsed into s...
Local activist going to protests to avoid awkward conversation with roommate
TORONTO – Grateful for the mild weather and political unrest, local activist, Kelsey Fuller, keeps going to public protests to avoid having an awkward conversation with her roommate. “Luckily I ...
We ranked these crimes from coolest to mail fraud
El Chapo, O. J. Simpson, Donald Trump Jr. Criminals have never had more cultural cache, but not all crimes are cool. For every indie soundtracked, Edgar Wright-inspiring car chase there is some sun bu...
Whitehorse residents agree
WHITEHORSE – A survey of over 500 Whitehorse residents indicate that they overwhelmingly agree. 95% of citizens from Yukon’s capital said ‘yes’ while, in another question, 85% said ‘sure’, accor...
REPORT: Saskatchewan left Canada years ago
OTTAWA- A report conducted by the Ministry of Environment says that the entire province of Saskatchewan detached itself from the rest of the country and left “probably several years ago,” and now is t...
Tories offer Omar Khadr additional $10.5 million to stay in news until next election
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party has vowed to match Omar Khadr’s $10.5 million payout if he agrees to do “everything in his power” to remain in the news until the next federal election in 2019. “What M...
July 24th, 1967: French President De Gaulle calls for Quebec to surrender, await for international help for liberation
MONTREAL – Speaking from his personal experience, French President Charles De Gaulle has inspired Quebecers to liberate themselves by surrendering and awaiting for a massive Allied force to free...
Alberta Wildrose, PC parties merge into single oil company
CALGARY – Alberta Wildrose and Progressive Conservative Party members have voted 95 per cent in favour of ratifying the agreement to join forces to create a dominant right-wing international oil...
