What if Alex Jones was rational?
We bring you: BeaverWars.…
Judge rules drunken proclamations of love are legally binding marriages
HALIFAX, NS – A Halifax judge has ruled that drunken proclamations of love constitute legal marriages. “Clearly, a drunk can consent to marriage,” reads the decision in the case of a young …
High school prom committee just trying not to be racist this year
Kitchener, ON – While most prom committees spend the bulk of their budget on venues, decorations, and catering, this year’s committee at Henry Dow Secondary School is putting 90% of its mon…
Toronto couple find affordable one bedroom, full bath, one rat king apartment
TORONTO – A local couple are elated to have just signed the lease for a new apartment; a cozy one bedroom for $2000, with a full bathroom, a washer and dryer in the unit, and just one horde…
The Beaverton Suspends Leadership Bid
Due to illegitimate controversies, the Beaverton will be suspending its campaign.…
Why The Beaverton Corporation should absorb the CBC for nutrients
BY KEVIN DOWSE, BEAVERTON CORPORATION LACKEY It’s a battle as old as time: the CBC wages war on hard-working corporations, all while getting fat suckling at the teat of Mother Taxpayer. I used to…
7 women whose brazen sexuality we find unsettling
We at the Beaverton Corporation believe in family values. Here are seven women who pose a real threat to our values, which also happen to be the values of Canada. Deposit photos Deposit photos D…
The Beaverton leading the polls in Conservative Leadership Race
Canadians everywhere have enthusiastically embraced our leadership campaign according to our polls!…
I endorse the Beaverton Corporation for Conservative Party Leader
BY: STEPHEN HARPER, CANADA’S 22ND PRIME MINISTER Over these past few months, as numerous candidates have announced their intention to run to replace me as leader of the Conservative Party, …
The Beaverton will restore Canada’s foreign policy to bombing our way into and out of problems
Beloved Beaverton supporters, Justin Trudeau has embarrassed our nation by removing our CF-18s from operations Iraq and Syria. This spineless move only makes our country more attractive for ISIS …
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