New Canada Food Guide asks, ‘You really gonna eat that?’
OTTAWA – Canada’s Food Guide is getting a complete overhaul, revamping the ten-year-old publication to deliver a clear nutritional message: “You’re doing it wrong.” The new Food Guide will …
Local man forgets wife’s birthday because of Antifa
PICKERING, ON – In the latest case of collateral damage by the volatile far Left, Pickering native Neil Davidson completely forgot his wife Laura’s 36th birthday this week, due to the vigil…
Update: Tweet that starts WWIII will now be up to 280 characters long
SAN FRANCISCO – Twitter today announced it will be beta testing a new 280 character limit on tweets in an effort to ensure that the tweet that causes a Third World War will be more a more s…
Self described “bon vivant” currently vomiting in children’s park
MONTREAL – After what was surely a rousing evening of eating, drinking, and celebrating, local man and self identifying bon vivant Kennedy Allen is currently throwing up in the sandbox of a…
Taxi company balks at being regulated like a taxi company
MONTREAL – Popular ride-sharing app Uber, which, for all intents and purposes, is a taxi company, has announced it will leave Québec after being asked to follow the same rules already appli…
QUIZ: Can you earn the respect of this super cool 6th grader?
So you’re stuck at a boring social event with a bunch of other adults and looking for a way to kill the time. What better way to do that than to befriend – and then hang out with – th…
Doctors concerned Sidney Crosby has sustained another concussion after he accepts invitation to Trump White House
PITTSBURGH – Sidney Crosby has accepted President Donald Trump’s invitation to visit the White House, leading neurologists to believe that the former NHL MVP has received a concussion in th…
Live from JFL42 with Kyle Kinane, Ali Siddiq and D.J. Mausner
Luke is live at the JFL42 Comedy Festival with an all-star panel of Kyle Kinane, Ali Siddiq and D.J. Mausner. Together they discuss what visitors think when they visit Toronto (2:00), Trump’…
Son of wealthy business owner concerned tax loophole changes may mean he has to work
NEWMARKET, ON – A lethargic 24-year-old man is concerned that the federal government’s proposal to end income sprinkling – a tax loophole that he directly benefits from – may me…
Nova Scotia named best province to walk into the sea and end it all
HALIFAX – According to a survey by the Center For Goth Canadian Studies, Nova Scotia has been named the best province to walk into the sea and end it all. The results of the survey reveal t…
