OTTAWA – With less than a month to go until the federal election, candidates for the Conservative Party of Canada have been shocked and dismayed to learn that the things they post and share on p...
Trump googles “tariff” for first time
WASHINGTON D.C. – Using a fresh browser tab on a secure device, sources confirm that US President Donald Trump has, for the first time in his life, done a google search to find out what the word “Tari...
Poilievre to boost numbers with women by encouraging them to ask their husbands if they can vote for him
“If you ask nicely, maybe he’ll let you use the credit card this weekend too!” The Beaverton Weekly Report is making fun of the news once again. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Cl...
Trump declares sweeping global tariffs in response to death of Val Kilmer
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that shook global markets and surprised even some supporters, President Donald Trump announced major tariffs on all products made outside the United States, entirely intend...
“We are not for sale” state Juno winners and stars who work primarily in United States
Vancouver, USA – Celebrities who attended the 2025 Juno awards had a firm and clear theme for the night’s proceedings, that their talents which they mostly perform in the United States are...
Man who calls his fantasy hockey team Big Stick Daddy enters 30th hour of planning your crushing defeat
TORONTO – According to sources embedded in your fantasy hockey pool, the player who goes by a crude double entendre is on the verge of issuing you such a humiliating defeat that you’ll lose all intere...
Want to buy Canadian? These politicians are up for sale!
In the wake of ongoing tariffs imposed by the Trump Administration, Canadians are looking for local alternatives to American products. For folks hoping to purchase the favour of a government official,...
With Trump back in office, Greeks celebrate no longer being civilization that has fallen the furthest
ATHENS, GREECE ― Following Trump’s inauguration and the steep decline in American character it represents, Greece is looking on with a mixture of horror and guilty relief, new polling suggests. “For ...
Head of Elections Canada says all social media sites now on the honour system to not interfere with our elections, okay guys?
OTTAWA – In light of concerns that social media sites would be used to spread deliberate disinformation in order to sway the outcome of Canada’s upcoming federal election, Chief Electoral Office...
Hudson’s Bay warns customers they have only weeks to find their way out of stores
TORONTO – As Hudson’s Bay stores across Canada liquidate their inventory to pay off debt, customers currently lost inside these labyrinthian stores are being warned they must find their way out before...
