NEW YORK CITY, NY – Former US President Donald Trump has won 100% of the vote in his hush money trial as a jury reached the unanimous verdict of guilty on all 34 charges. Trump has been con…
New Canadian Olympic uniforms made from real Alberta beef
VANCOUVER – The Canadian Olympic Committee and the Canadian Paralympic Committee have partnered with the Alberta Beef Council to unveil the new athlete kits for the Paris 2024 Summer Olympi…
Rogue AI found in Montreal cafe, working on their new script
Montreal, QC – Computer researchers were surprised today to find a rogue artificial intelligence, or AI, on a computer in a Montreal cafe. The researchers say that it had been quietly occup…
RBC launches new Canadian Groceries Loan Program
TORONTO – At a press conference held outside Toronto’s Friendly Harvest Food Bank, RBC announced its latest financial offering: the new Canadian Groceries Loan Program. The program aims to …
Oscar the Grouch criticized for giving children unrealistic housing goals
TORONTO – Sesame Street character Oscar the Grouch has come under fire for setting unattainable housing goals for children by TV critic Madeline Wathers. Famously, Oscar the Grouch lives in…
Teen listening intently to grandmother for deep dive on latest “Nanalore”
RAWDON, QC – Local teen Ben Glasgow, age 16, was listening intently to his grandmother’s origin story to catch up on the latest “Nanalore” drop. His grandmother, Grace Glasgow, was recounti…
Avatar 3 run time predicted to go right up to Avatar 4 release
TORONTO, ON – There’s something special to look forward to in 2024. With blockbuster movie running times increasing every year, Avatar 3 has an announced run time of 2 years. This takes the…
Narcissist sends himself dick pic
MOUNT PEARL, NL – Locally renowned narcissist, Charles Mizzard, has been telling anyone who will listen about the “spectacular” dick pic he sent himself. Many residents have been unable to …
Elon Musk close to fulfilling conditions of eccentric uncle’s will to spend 45 B$ without giving it away
SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk is on the verge of completing the stipulations of his uncle’s will wherein he must spend 45 B$ without giving it away. By doing so before the end of the year, Elon Musk …
NDP asks Liberals to stop calling them “Lil’ Buddies” in official announcements
OTTAWA – NDP leader Jagmeet Singh used Question Period to request that the Liberals no longer refer to the NDP as “Lil’ Buddies” in government communiques. For the past few months, Trudeau’…