GUELPH – Local theatre critic Gregory Stephens held nothing back reviewing a local production of Tennessee Williams’s “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” issuing a lowly 4.5 out of 5 stars. Unlike hi...
Kingston residents shocked to discover terror plot not the fault of Queen’s students
KINGSTON – After a local teen was arrested on suspicion of a terrorist plot, residents were baffled to discover the incident had no apparent connection with Queen’s University or its students. “You he...
‘Yes, I am Jason’s mother,’ says wig-wearing Kenney opening the door to allowance-claimed retirement residence
CALGARY – Journalists who visited the residency claimed by UPC Leader Jason Kenney for a housing allowance found a man who suspiciously resembled Jason Kenney wearing a wig and a night gown clai...
White friend claims dreadlocks part of their cultural tradition of looking like a dumbass
St. Catharines, ON – Local white friend Caitlynn Matthews says her traditionally-Black hairstyle doesn’t count as cultural appropriation due to her family’s long-standing custom of looking like total ...
Man makes fun of grandmother for plastic-covered couch on phone encased in 2 pounds of rubber
VANCOUVER – Hoping a joke about his grandmother’s twenty year old couch covered in plastic will resonate with his 237 Instagram followers, Kyle Anderson, 24, recently posted about it from his th...
Everyone super impressed by big bathtub
Oakville, ON – After taking a group of friends and relatives on a tour of his recently renovated house, Tom H. Fulton, 56, was pleased to observe several “oohs” and “aahs” at the reveal of the l...
Impressive! BC Legislature $3,200 wood-splitter can cut up to 5000 suspicious expense reports per minute
We’ve all heard about the life changing magic of tidying up, and officials at the BC Legislature are taking that philosophy to the next level with their all purpose wood-splitter that is equally adept...
Mueller indicts sixth Trump associate, four more gets him a free impeachment
WASHINGTON – The arrest of longtime Trump advisor Roger Stone has put special counsel Robert Mueller more than halfway towards what experts believe to be his goal, the completion of the Presiden...
Trump ends government shutdown after realizing unpaid FBI agents can still arrest people
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has announced that he is temporarily ending the government shutdown since learning that furloughed FBI agents are still allowed to make arrests. Early thi...
Alberta is “Canadian Texas” says man from Canadian Michigan
OSHAWA – While on a third date with a Tinder match, Alex Phillips refers to Alberta as “Canadian Texas,” despite living in Canadian Michigan. “It’s really as backward as ...
