WASHINGTON – The arrest of longtime Trump advisor Roger Stone has put special counsel Robert Mueller more than halfway towards what experts believe to be his goal, the completion of the Presidential Indictment punchcard.
“The 28th amendment, referred to colloquially as the ‘Punchcard Amendment’ or the ‘Sandwich Amendment’ dates back to early days of the Watergate scandal,” explains Sara Meyers, professor of constitutional law at Harvard. “The country was in the midst of a political crisis. Panicking legislators looked at increasingly popular customer loyalty punchcards and said, hey, let’s just do that.”
The amendment states that if ten associates of a sitting President are indicted for any felonies by a special counsel, impeachment of that President is automatically triggered without the need to hold a vote in the House of Representatives. It does not guarantee the removal of that president or a guilty verdict at their subsequent trial, but it does provide special counsel with unlimited fountain drinks for the length of that trial to thank them for their service.
“It was ratified faster than any other amendment in US history, partly because the country wanted a quick, nonpartisan way to impeach a criminal president, and partly because state legislatures were under the false impression that if it passed they’d be given free sandwiches,” said Meyers.
If Mueller is able to indict a tenth Trump associate, it will be the first time the amendment has been used, as Nixon resigned just before his tenth associate was indicted.
The Trump administration has repeatedly shifted tone about Mueller’s possible use of the Punchcard Amendment, with Sarah Huckabee Sanders vehemently denying any wrongdoing on the part of the president despite an ever increasing number of his associates and campaign staff being indicted, while Trump asks anyone who questions him about it if they know when his prize for winning the indictment contest will be delivered.
Sources in the Mueller investigation refuse to speculate on when his investigation will result in a tenth indictment, but everyone reached for comment did have a hearty laugh when asked if his investigation would result in a tenth indictment.