Stolen Group of Seven painting fortunately only a Frederick Varley
TORONTO – Private gallery owner Richard Grier announced that a Group of Seven painting stolen this week was thankfully was only a piece by Frederick Varley. “You can imagine my distress when I no…
‘Now do you see why I was covering this up?!’ yells Trudeau at reporters
OTTAWA – In the wake of Jody Wilson-Raybauld’s damning testimony an outraged Justin Trudeau spoke to reporters this morning, demanding they apologize for criticizing his prior efforts to st…
Liberals suddenly decide proportional representation might be a good idea after all
OTTAWA – Two years after appearing to break their promise on electoral reform, the Liberal Party made a surprise announcement on Wednesday night that they are again planning to change Canad…
Ontario Dentists relieved they won’t have to work on poor people teeth for at least another 4 years
TORONTO – With the Ontario PC Party in power, Dentists across Ontario are breathing a sigh of relief that they won’t have to work on an additional 4.5 million poor people’s teeth. “Dental c…
Health agency brings back smallpox to teach everyone an important lesson about vaccination
WINNIPEG – The Public Health Agency of Canada has announced that it has reintroduced the deadly and highly infectious smallpox virus back into the human population so everyone learns the ha…
NDP members devastated by Jagmeet Singh’s by-election win
Burnaby, BC – As results came in from the Burnaby by-election, members of the federal NDP were disheartened to learn that they would be stuck with Jagmeet Singh as their leader for the 2019…
Clement announces return to social media by sending DM to every woman in his constituency
HUNTSVILLE, ON – Female residents of the Parry Sound—Muskoka electoral district were surprised to learn on Wednesday that their scandal prone MP, Tony Clement, was not only back at work in …
‘I won my office Oscars pool’ brags man with not much going on
SASKATOON – Reports indicate local man Jeremy Huang has spent most of the day bragging that he correctly guessed the winners of 20 out of 24 Oscars categories last night. Huang announced his vict…
SPCA discovers millions of starving Neopets in abandoned server farm
TORONTO – In a raid conducted yesterday, the Toronto SPCA made a horrifying discovery when they found countless neglected and starving Neopets in a de-activated server farm, apparently left…
