HAMILTON, ON– During a ten day all-inclusive trip to Cuba, local aunt Brenda Sommers has officially declared that she officially needs a vacation from the very vacation she is currently experiencing.
“This has all been a real to-do,” explained Aunt Brenda. “Just the plane ride alone was enough to take it out of me. Sure the flight here was okay, because they brought me a glass of champagne. But then the bus to the resort was like a thousand degrees in there. Now that could have been from the third degree sunburn I have on my chest and back, but I think it’s unrelated”
While it is usual for many uncles, aunts, grandparents and the very lonely to find the mere act of thinking of a vacation exhausting, but some do try to enjoy the experience of the vacation; an action Aunt Brenda refuses to participate in.
“It’s been nice, I guess, but every day has been such a struggle,” furthered Aunt Brenda. “You ever have to walk across a beach before? The sand makes everything so uneven, what a nightmare. Plus the weather has been fair, but almost too fair. Makes me feel like I have to get up and be outside everyday. That’s a lot of pressure.”
Studies have shown that a change in environment can lead to the body exerting more energy, therefore feeling more tired, even if the purpose of the change in environment was to rest. However, Behavioural Psychologist Samin Singh has noted that most local aunts “can’t go ten minutes without anything to complain about”, thus “finding issues with the vacation they were so jazzed to go on in the first place.”
“Travelling with Aunt Brenda is like being on vacation with the pelican cement mixer from The Flintstones,” said nephew and vacation attendee Brad King. “She has said, ‘it’s a living’ every single day. I have no idea what she was referring to, but it is literally the worst.”
At press time Aunt Brenda is actively planning another vacation where she will be able to “eat normal people food”.
