Are hedgehogs getting sexier? Hollywood says yes
Move over, Bambi’s mom. Hollywood’s animated creature kingdom just got hotter. Following widespread outcry over the unalluring appearance of Sonic the Hedgehog in the first trailer for his new fi…
Blood-stained Jason Kenney fires police officers investigating murder
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has announced $2 million more in savings for government coffers after firing the police officers investigating him on suspicion of murder. “Making co…
Trudeau announces new roster of future liabilities
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced his new and larger cabinet, consisting of at least four ministers who are predicted to betray him by the next election. Since the SNC-Lavalin …
Poster for local comedy show just headshots of 12 people that aren’t famous
TORONTO – This month, residents have taken notice of a poster advertising a local comedy show that has appeared to litter the downtown core. The poster itself has raised more questions than…
Catholic Church erects monument for fetuses who will never grow up to be a victim of a priest
BELLEVILLE, ON – An anti-abortion monument has been erected by the Knights of Columbus for the fetuses who will never grow up to be a victim of a priest’s abuse. “The Catholic Church contin…
Ron MacLean accidentally nods while watching Hitler speech on YouTube
OTTAWA – Hockey Night in Canada commentator Ron MacLean accidentally caught himself nodding at an old Hitler speech this week, and wants to clarify that to him, nods mean nothing. During his apol…
Toronto Zoo running winter time ‘Sad Animals in Cold Cages’ promotion
TORONTO — In an effort to boost attendance during the winter months, the Toronto Zoo is featuring many of their animals from warmer climates in a special ‘Sad Animals in Cold Cages’ campaig…
Heroic senior citizen keeps CRA scammer on the line for hours
VICTORIA – An 87-year-old woman is being praised for holding up her alleged phone scammer for more than three hours in a conversation preventing the suspect from making future calls defraud…
Having to watch Leafs play now considered cruel and unusual punishment
TORONTO – In a unanimous decision The Court Of Appeal For Ontario has declared that no individual ought to be forced to watch the 2019-2020 Leafs play, on account of the overwhelming levels…
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