“We’re going to do a great job killing coronavirus wherever it is hiding,” said President Trump at a press conference at the White House Rose Garden. “Doctors will take down the virus while it cries and screams until it dies.”
As the world teeters on a global pandemic, the US has responded according to its Just Shoot At It policy by issuing doctors glocks, shotguns, and AR-15s to defeat the virus.
A Wanted poster with a microscopic image of the coronavirus was distributed to the media at the press conference.
“But this is all going to be over by April once coronavirus sees our guns,” added Trump.
In related news, the entire annual CDC budget was spent on the development of a COVID-19 missile shield.