5 TV shows you should watch before we all die
With global warming leaving most of the world on fire, the US trying to start World War III, and vapes giving us all popcorn lung, there is only one thing to take comfort in – it will all b…
Britain resumes tradition of sending outcasts to the colonies
LONDON – British Parliament has passed a law that will resume the practice of sending its criminals, debtors, society’s rejects, and Harry to the colonies by penal shipment or banishment. T…
Breaking: Irresponsible friend offering to babysit as a ‘favour’
Victoria, BC – In an act that witnesses described as ‘misguided’ and ‘galling”, well known irresponsible friend, Toby Gortham has offered to babysit David and Carly Worthing’s 2-year-old so…
City that hosted 2010 Winter Olympics fails to prepare for snow again
VANCOUVER – A Canadian city that hosted the 2010 Winter Olympics has yet again failed to anticipate snow. The municipality that touted the city and area as a wintery paradise for the world …
Flask industry claims flasks are not just used for sneaky drinking
TORONTO – Despite scientific studies proving otherwise, the Canadian Flaskmakers Association (CFA) continues to assert that its product is a normal beverage container and not one used 100% …
Conservatives sure party members who supported Scheer and Bernier last time will now choose a centrist leader with mass appeal
OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party leadership contest officially gets underway party insiders expressed confidence that the same members who last time supported libertarian, racist uncle Ma…
New charity helps royal immigrants integrate into Canada’s high society
TORONTO – In response to the Prince and Princess of Sussex relocation of Canada, a new charity has been established to help the pair as well as other royals better integrate into Canada’s u…
Introspective carpenter finds her shelf
KELOWNA, BC – Local carpenter Marybeth Dinh, 35, who left her accounting job in Vancouver to escape from the rat race into the picturesque BC interior, announced to friends and family via e…
Unskilled foreigners seek move to Canada
OTTAWA – A British and American couple, both unemployed, are seeking to emigrate to Canada despite having no real skills to offer the country, early reports indicate. British and American m…
