Corgis everywhere struggling to find a new gimmick
LONDON, UK – Following the death of Queen Elizabeth II, the world’s corgi population is scrambling to find a new trademark to stay relevant in the global dog scene. “We’ve been trying…
Tory assures voters he only needs one more term to make Toronto as inhospitable as it is expensive
TORONTO – Running for re-election Mayor John Tory has promised voters that, with just one more term, he can complete his mission to make Toronto just as terrible to live in as it is crippli…
Cheap dad treats kids to Ripley’s Believe it Or Not! lobby visit
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – While on a recent family vacation, father Todd Evans reached an impressive level of frugality by treating his wife and kids to a visit to the Ripley’s Believe It O…
Fluffy dog forced to wear fall sweater is fucking burning up
CALGARY – Despite the unseasonably warm fall weather rolling through Western Canada, 4-year-old Pomeranian mix Sandy has been dressed in a sweater simply because it’s ‘just so dang adorable…
Hockey fans training hard to get into peak trash talking shape
MONTREAL – Local Habs fan Jeff Donoghue says he needs just a few more training sessions before he is in mid-season trash talking shape. “Other off-seasons I’ve kind of let my ga…
Huh. Via Train just started going backwards
Belleville(ish), ON – The Via Train from Toronto to Montreal that has been stopped somewhere around Belleville for the last twenty minutes has started going backwards and everyone on board …
Poilievre confident THIS endorsement from an alt right conspiracy theorist won’t blow up in his face
OTTAWA – After receiving praise from Infowars host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, Pierre Poilievre has expressed confidence that unlike past endorsements, this one will certainly not b…
Pierre Poilievre hopes to inspire future generations of kids who carry briefcases in high school to enter politics
OTTAWA – Adapting to his role as Conservative Party Leader, Pierre Poilievre is hoping to use his position not just to advocate for his positions but to inspire future generations of kids w…
Fantasy fans demand Rings of Power match House of the Dragon’s incest levels
HOLLYWOOD – Which team are you on — The Rings of Power, or House of the Dragon? For fantasy fans, there’s only one correct answer: whichever has more relatives doing each other. Dozens of o…
