WASHINGTON D.C. — After being secretly recorded praising China’s President Xi Jinping for ending term limits, President Trump dismissed his autocratic comments as just “regular locker…
U.S.
New security clearance policy requires Jared Kushner to hold hands with secret service agent at all times
WASHINGTON D.C. – White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has officially announced that Jared Kushner will only be granted security clearance if he promises to hold the hand of the secret service a…
NRA loses sponsorship deal with Henderson’s Child-Sized Coffins
FAIRFAX, VA — In the wake of the Parkland, FL school shooting and subsequent public outcry, the NRA has lost several major sponsors including their latest: Henderson’s Child-Sized Coffins. …
Trump announces plan to arm firefighters with fire
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a bid to put an end to the longstanding epidemic of random fires breaking out across the nation, President Trump has put forward a bold plan to combat them by arming firefigh…
Republicans attack CNN for not interviewing “pro-school shooting” teens
WASHINGTON – Republican lawmakers and activists are pointing to the lack of teenage supporters of school shootings on CNN as another example of liberal bias in the media. “The question we n…
Trump insists only way to stop a bad mentally ill guy with a gun is a good mentally ill guy with a gun
Parkland, Florida – While visiting with survivors of the tragic school shooting in Florida, President Trump refused to call for gun control, and instead assured Americans, “the only thing t…
Declassified memo alleges FBI investigated Trump Campaign just because they did a bunch of crimes
WASHINGTON DC — A bombshell memo written by the House Intelligence Chair alleges the FBI opened an investigation into Trump Campaign officials based solely on the fact they done an absurd a…
Trump beats spread by keeping US Government open almost 1 full year
WASHINGTON D.C. – At midnight, President Trump defied political pundits and Vegas bookmakers alike by keeping his United States Government open for a full year – much longer than any …
White House doctor declares Trump fit to stand trial
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump is in good physical and cognitive health and otherwise “mentally fit to stand trial and aid in his own defense”, according to the President’s physicia…
Hawaiians report end-of-the-world sex not romantic, just frantic, terrifying
HONOLULU — Following an erroneous mobile phone alert telling Hawaiians a ballistic attack was imminent, thousands of island residents are reporting that engaging in panicked, fearful doomsd…
