WASHINGTON D.C. – At midnight, President Trump defied political pundits and Vegas bookmakers alike by keeping his United States Government open for a full year – much longer than any …
U.S.
White House doctor declares Trump fit to stand trial
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump is in good physical and cognitive health and otherwise “mentally fit to stand trial and aid in his own defense”, according to the President’s physicia…
Hawaiians report end-of-the-world sex not romantic, just frantic, terrifying
HONOLULU — Following an erroneous mobile phone alert telling Hawaiians a ballistic attack was imminent, thousands of island residents are reporting that engaging in panicked, fearful doomsd…
Bannon steps down from Breitbart to spend more time drinking alone
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Steve Bannon, former Chief Strategist for President Donald Trump, will be stepping down as Executive Chairman of Breitbart News so he can devote more of his time to drink…
Please stop offering me the “Pee Tape”
EDITORIAL by Robert Mueller, former FBI Director As special counsel for the Department of Justice, I’m aware that the details of my investigation into the Trump campaign are vague. The ver…
IN PHOTOS: Local children sleep over at Jimmy’s to read his copy of Fire and Fury
Group of children delight as they read Michel Wolff’s White House tell-all during a sleep-over at Jimmy’s house.…
Trump moves American embassy to Jerusalem as Christmas gift to “the jews”
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Sexual predator unable to handle being told no
ALABAMA — Failed Republican senate candidate and noted predator of underage girls Roy Moore has announced plans to “stay on brand” and refuse to concede defeat. “This election is barely 14 …
DC lawyers insist Trump cannot be found guilty of obstruction of justice because he doesn’t know the word ‘obstruction’
WASHINGTON — Following Donald Trump’s apparent admission via Twitter that he was aware of criminal wrongdoing when he asked former FBI director James Comey to halt an investigation into former ai…
Flynn outsmarts Mueller by indicting himself first
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following a report that Robert Mueller’s Russia probe plans to bring charges against President Trump’s former national security adviser, retired Lt. General Mi…
