LOS ANGELES — In the wake of revelations that dozens of wealthy individuals have used fraudulent schemes to gain their children admission to top universities, Americans are reporting utter shock …
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“But I’m a white!” David Frum screams as he’s picked up by ICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. – David Frum was arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents today during a tense exchange following a sweep of undocumented immigrants in the Atlantic offi…
Highly caffeinated Robert Mueller pulling all-nighter after not starting report until this afternoon
WASHINGTON DC – Despite having almost two-years to get it done, a highly caffeinated Special Counsel Robert Mueller was seen furiously typing away at his computer, after only just getting s…
National emergency declares national emergency
WASHINGTON – In a move many legal experts are calling unprecedented, chronic national emergency Donald Trump is declaring a separate, second national emergency to get funding for his border…
Republicans furious to see Obama running for third term
Washington D.C – Republicans have expressed outrage today at the news that a man whom they are positive is former President Barack Obama has entered the race for democratic nominee, vying f…
Mueller indicts sixth Trump associate, four more gets him a free impeachment
WASHINGTON – The arrest of longtime Trump advisor Roger Stone has put special counsel Robert Mueller more than halfway towards what experts believe to be his goal, the completion of the Pre…
Trump ends government shutdown after realizing unpaid FBI agents can still arrest people
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has announced that he is temporarily ending the government shutdown since learning that furloughed FBI agents are still allowed to make arrests. Earl…
U.S. government shutdown forces border agents to cage children without pay
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The ongoing shutdown of the U.S. government has caused significant financial strain for the nation’s border patrol agents, who still have not been compensated for their v…
Florida man growing increasingly suspicious of the perfectly normal day he’s having
Jacksonville, FL — Florida resident Dave Peterson has spent the majority of his afternoon desperately watching for potential threats after having a totally regular, non-headline-worthy day.…
Local man finds creeping fascism much easier to ignore than he expected
NEW YORK — Despite living in an age of xenophobia, attacks on the free press and political corruption, office manager David Newton is finding that fascism is much easier to ignore than he previou…
