TORONTO – As puck drop on the 2018-2019 NHL season approaches, and the first Hockey Night in Canada only days away, CBC employees completed their annual duty of waking Don Cherry from the c…
Sports
Eugene Melnyk figures now is a good time to ask Sens fans for another liver
OTTAWA – Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk has issued a statement through the organization asking the few remaining members of the Sens Army for another liver. In 2015, the Barbados-based…
Induction of Steve Nash into Basketball Hall of Fame inspires Canadians to also come up short of ultimate goal
SPRINGFIELD, MASSACHUSETTS – This Friday, Canadian basketball icon Steve Nash will be enshrined in the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame and the honour has inspired hundreds of Nash’s countr…
Nike encourages Americans to buy Colin Kaepernick merchandise to show support/ burn in protest
PORTLAND, OR — Following the announcement that Colin Kaepernick will be their new spokesperson, Nike is encouraging all Americans to buy as much of the Kaepernick merchandise as possible, e…
Tiger Woods still looks tired from all that extramarital sex he was having a few years ago
JUPITER ISLAND, FL – Having not won a PGA tournament since 2013, a wide array of golf experts agreed on Thursday that golfing legend Tiger Woods still looks “very tired” from all that extra…
BREAKING: France okay with certain immigrants
MOSCOW, RUSSIA – After a high scoring 4 – 2 victory over Croatia in the 2018 World Cup finals, the entire nation of France announced Sunday that it finally embrace certain immigrants,…
How can Cristiano Ronaldo be the greatest footballer of all time when he’s never won a Super Bowl?
EDITORIAL by Your High School Football Coach, Mr. Hapsfield I’ve been a fan of the great sport of football for my entire life, and lately a bunch of people are talking about this Cristiano Ronald…
LeBron James announces intention to sign with the Washington Generals
CLEVELAND, OH – In a surprise move this morning, LeBron James officially announced that he will be leaving the NBA’s Cleveland Cavaliers to sign with the Independent Washington Generals, mo…
Exhaustive study finds Hamilton Tiger-Cats neither tigers nor cats
HAMILTON, ON – Already making waves in the greater Hamilton area, scientists at McMaster University have completed a study that finds, among other things, that the Hamilton Tiger-Cats are n…
Bergevin successfully trades Alex Galchenyuk on Bunz for a Salt Lamp
MONTREAL – Montreal Canadiens GM Marc Bergevin has successfully traded forward Alex Galchenyuk on Bunz Trading Zone. A Himalayan salt lamp is the only piece heading the other way. “I …
