TORONTO – In a unanimous decision The Court Of Appeal For Ontario has declared that no individual ought to be forced to watch the 2019-2020 Leafs play, on account of the overwhelming levels…
Sports
Fabricland files for bankruptcy after biggest customer fired from Coach’s Corner
TORONTO – Canada’s Largest Fashion Fabric Distributor Fabricland says it will be shutting its doors now that its largest customer, Don Cherry, has been fired from by Sportsnet. Over 5…
Man voted 7th greatest Canadian of all time says 845th racist thing
TORONTO – Donald ‘Grapes’ Cherry, a failed hockey coach and current hockey commentator who Canadians saw fit to vote as the 7th greatest Canadian of all time, is under fire for saying a rac…
Sportsnet reminds viewers of its zero-consequence-for-racism policy
TORONTO – Sportsnet has responded to Don Cherry’s recent comments towards immigrants by reminding fans that it has a zero-consequence policy for anything racist the host says. “We strongly …
TFC players canvassing to raise awareness of championship run
TORONTO – As part of TFC Awareness Month, the players of the Toronto Football Club have begun door knocking across the Greater Toronto Area. “Hi there! My name is Jozy Altidore. Have you he…
$140 NHL app comes with all the regional blackouts fans never knew they wanted
TORONTO – With a new season of NHL underway, media conglomerate Rogers Communications and the League have reminded everyone to purchase an app that will showcase exciting regional blackouts…
No one at Blue Jays game wants to be there
TORONTO – After arriving at the Rogers Centre for yet another grinder of a baseball game, sources report that literally no one attending the Blue Jays game today- including players, staff,…
Heartwarming: City of Calgary donates $275M to local billionaire
CALGARY – In the midst of an economic downturn that has negatively affected many Calgarians, the City of Calgary has decided to open its heart, and its wallet, with a pledge to spend $275 m…
ESPN returns to ignoring Canada’s existence
BRISTOL, CT – After the departure of NBA Champion and former Toronto Raptor Kawhi Leonard to the LA Clippers, ESPN has resumed the assumption that Canada is a mythical, non-existent land wh…
