LAS VEGAS – The Golden knights won the Stanley Cup last night, proving once and for all that, in a salary cap league, a team that blatantly exceeds the salary cap will usually be better tha…
Sports
Tampa Bay Lightning snap nine month Stanley Cup drought
TAMPA BAY, FL – The Tampa Bay Lightning have finally broken their Stanley Cup drought, a wait spanning three-quarters of a year. The team franchise has not engraved its name on Lord Stanley…
Exasperated nerds threaten to talk about history of Suriname until hockey fans shut up
OTTAWA ― With the Stanley Cup Finals underway, the Canadian Civil Organization of Nerds (CanCON) has warned that the usual non-stop talk about the NHL will be met with swift retaliation this year…
Toronto fans confident Leafs would be going to finals if they had beaten Habs, weren’t embarrassing joke of franchise
TORONTO – As the Montreal Canadiens and their fans celebrate their Cinderella run to the Stanley Cup Finals, disappointed Leafs fans are confident that they would also have made it that far…
32-year-old unable to commit to relationship knows exactly what pro wrestling entrance music would be
Niagara Falls, ON – While Daniel Kyle is unable to commit to a romantic relationship, the thirty-two-year-old graphic designer knows exactly what he’d choose for his pro-wrestling entrance …
Man gets away with murder after eyewitness turns out to be NHL referee
MONTREAL – A homicide has gone unsolved after the eyewitness who was right there turned out to be an NHL referee, and therefore somehow missed the entire thing. “He was standing right…
5 ways to explain the Habs’ success without admitting they’re a good team
With the Montreal Canadiens having won the North Division, Canadian hockey fans outside Quebec are faced with a dilemma: how can we explain the fact that the Habs did so much better than our team…
Dominatrix offers her Subs new punishment that replicates pain, humiliation of being a Leafs fan
TORONTO – Mistress Saphira, a local Dom who specializes in unique tortures for her clients to endure, has developed a new punishment for Subs eager to feel the pain & humiliation Leafs …
Leafs forfeit Game 7 to save everyone the trouble
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs have announced they will not play Game 7 against the Montreal Canadiens to save everyone the trouble. “I think we all know how this will end,” said Leafs C…
Calgary fans celebrate highlight of Flames’ season
CALGARY – After a long, gruelling season, Flames fans were finally able to celebrate a true victory when the Edmonton Oilers were shockingly swept out of the Playoffs. “You know, it&#…
